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In healing guilt it is important to remember that we are here to learn. Learning is a trial and error enterprise. Sometimes we make mistakes, we do things we don't wish to repeat. So we learn. If, however, in the learning process we get infected with guilt - we then feel bad, sometimes really bad. A learning experience turns into an internal crime and courtroom scene with the feeling of guilt as the primary punishment.
Learning is part of growing and evolving, and mistakes are excellent feedback in the learning process, if they are used as such. Our culture has taught us that making mistakes is bad, but this is not true. Mistakes are the norm in trial and error learning, and in fact they are necessary for learning and evolution. Learning is already hard enough without being punished for the mistakes that are a necessary part of the process.
The punishment and obvious result of negative judgments is guilt. Guilt erodes the sense of self worth and makes it very difficult to feel feelings that have been infected with it. Depression is often the consequence of guilt-bound feelings that cannot move and are therefore denied. Guilt is held in place by judgments. Release the judgments, and the guilt goes too. And because judgments are decisions, they are easy to change. The secret is simply to decide again. Take back your original judgment, change your mind, undecide, unjudge.
Here is an easy way to do this. Whenever something bothers you, find the emotion or feeling that is associated with the problem. Next, locate the feeling in your body and ask yourself, "Do I have any judgments about this?" If the answer is, '"Yes," then say out loud or strongly in your mind's voice:
"I release the judgment that I am bad because I ____" (Insert whatever you did, thought or felt.)
So, now you have changed your mind, you no longer judge yourself as bad for doing or not doing something. The next step is to change your mind about the thing itself. The words that do this are:
"I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong." (Insert the same as above.)
If the judgment is a negative quality such as "I am lazy," "stupid," "unworthy," etc. finish up with the following release statement:
"I release the judgment that I am in fact ____"
If you are feeling self-hatred related to the judgment, begin with the following release statement:
"I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ____" (And continue with the two other statements above.)
Here is a list of the statements in order of use. In all cases use # 2 and #3. Begin with # 1 if there is any feeling of self-hatred, and use # 4 if the judgment is a negative quality such as lazy, stupid, unworthy, etc.
1. "I release the judgment that I must hate myself because I ____"
2. "I release the judgment that I am bad because I ____"
3. "I release the judgment that ____ is bad or wrong."
4. "I release the judgment that I am in fact ____"
Whatever it was that caused you to judge against yourself, it's not wrong, it's a choice. We have free will and every choice we make is valid, and particularly valid when it's used as a learning experience. Release each negative judgment until there are no more. That's all there is to it, when the judgments are released you are free again to decide about how you will feel and act in this and similar situations.
Guilt and blame are a continuum. When it is in us, it is guilt. When it is in someone else, it is blame. Guilt we feel impossible to own ourselves becomes blame when it is projected out onto another. Releasing judgments (blame) against others is just as liberating as releasing them against ourselves. Just say, "I release the judgment that (person's name) is bad because they . . ." and "I release the judgment that . . . is bad or wrong." Either way, guilt or blame, it's ours to release.
Does it seem too easy? You may find yourself very pleasantly surprised at the deep and permanent positive changes that occur when judgments are released. At first it may seem like nothing has happened, no thunderbolts or deep feelings need accompany the quiet release of judgments. Judgment making is a mental activity, and so is judgment releasing. Although these mental constructs have a very powerful influence over emotions, they are as easy to release as forming the intention and thinking the thought.
The effects of judgment release are often subtle at first, but always cumulative. The more often you stop to release judgments when something bothers you, the easier it goes next time. Also, after just a little practice, the releases will go very quickly. After some practice, often all that is necessary is to realize you've had the judgment, and it will automatically release.
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